Warning!. There is a noob at poker!

   Posted by: Red Moon   in RedMoons Rants

Ok, first of all, I have a confession to make: I have been playing Dark Warriors for 2 years and 46 days and I didn’t enter to the casino until last month. At the beginning I was distracted with other features of the game, and later I was carrying the “poker virgin” complex…I had never been there and didn’t want to look like a noob. I was embarrassed to ask someone to teach me how to play. Then one day I told my secret to someone that helped me to get out of my trauma (thank you Raspy!).

Now, when I do something, I really try hard to make it right. So here comes my next confession: in one month I played 153 games and 2201 poker hands. As you can see, I really jumped in with both feet!.
And speaking about the time that I spent sitting on a poker table… The chairs seem to be made of stone or wood. Not sure which of those materials they used, but I’m sure they don’t have a cushion. And believe me, after 2201 hands sited there, I really need a cushion!. I think I will have to re draw my ass after all this time playing.

Another thing I have to tell you about poker, is that it seems to be a male’s territory. I think that just once I found another girl there. We are a rare species. So considering that I was a noob playing against experienced players, I made use of subtle feminine wiles to play my game, and picked a very sexy avatar to distract the blokes (no, it didn’t work… but hey! at least I tried!).

Everything was sweet and nice… I was gently losing my money in a pleasant way, until I faced one of those “All In” guys for the first time. It felt like someone was throwing grenades to the table. My first thought was “so you think that I’m a weak inexperienced woman that will run away with my tail between the legs?… well, I will show you that I can be more tough than you are!”… Wrong tactic. I lost gold, more gold, my dignity, more gold, and I even bet my own grandmother when I run out of gold! (poor granny… I’m still trying to recover her). Later I learned that those “All In” people could be easily managed if you are patient. From time to time, the river will have some mercy and send you nice cards, if you wait until that miracle happens, the grenade will blow up in the “All In” guy’s face.

With time, I noticed that its not about the cards… its about who has the control of the game. And to have the control, you have to be secure of yourself, and unpredictable. Well, there was my opportunity to win!… “Unpredictable” could be my second name if my parents would have had more imagination!. I was born to be unpredictable!. So I started to experiment with it. I had to learn how to bluff, and how to be tricky and hide that I had something when I had good cards. At the beginning it was as simple as doing exactly the opposite that your cards are asking you to do… if I had a pair of aces in hand, I just checked without raising the bet until the end, so everyone though I had nothing. If I had nothing, I bet all my bank account, my dog and my pants.

The problem is that I’m an obsessive person that always wants to do it better… so I started to think that if I acted like if I had nothing maybe they could think that I was doing it because I have something good and wanted to hide it… So the best thing to do was to behave as if I had a lot when I had a lot, so they though that I had nothing and was bluffing…But at some point I get lost on that thinking path, and started to randomly behave in different ways, no matter which cards I had. That resulted in huge loses, and the fact that now everybody thinks I’m just nuts and play terrible poker!.

But I have to say it: even losing every day, I got addicted to poker and I enjoy a lot playing. I can’t wait for Tom to release a poker chip package (but please… please, have some mercy and include a cushion on the deal!). I also met exceptional people at the poker tables. And I never lose the hope to stop losing one day, and start to win. Why not?.

Red Moon

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 8th, 2010 at 14:31 and is filed under RedMoons Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

3 comments so far


Very nice blog! Its about time someone recognized the hidden world of DW poker!

But as someone who is distracted by your avatar, I would not be so certain it does not work!

December 8th, 2010 at 15:45

Too awesome! Nice work and you’re right, I don’t see avatarn I see those numbers over one!

December 8th, 2010 at 16:23

lol well said red

December 8th, 2010 at 20:08

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