DW Fauna III

   Posted by: Red Moon   in RedMoons Rants

And here we go again…
I was bitching with the girls until 3:00AM last night, and then I went home and had insomnia until 5:00AM… The alarm crashed against my poor, semi drunk brain at 7:30AM… So imagine, just imagine how sharp and grumpy I am today. In this conditions, I couldn’t possibly write anything but another DW Fauna. Let’s see if you recognize this players:

He is such a big mouth!... The Chat Monkey:

Like the fly in your ear… he is a background noise that never stops. His conversation feels like the commercial break when you are watching a good movie…annoying! you just wish for it to end soon!. So you learn to disregard him. You get used to miss his lines at chat when reading, and when you notice that he is talking to you, just answer with emoticons or words like “ohh”, “really?”, “lol” without reading the whole speech (just as you do with your mother, yes, that’s the technique…).

The Chat Monkey is usually very friendly (he is continously looking for a victim ear that could hear him, so he needs to be friendly to survive) and has an incredible ability to talk silly things. I didn’t know there was such an amount of dummy stuff to talk about until I met a chat monkey for the first time. Though when he runs out of audience, he can keep talking, (ohhh yes!) to himself… but guess what?… he will do it aloud. He will take the effort to write it all, so you don’t happen to miss a line when coming back to chat!

Orange, I want it orange!… The I_wannabe_Helper:

He is 4 days old at the game when he find out about the orange guys. Since that moment, the orange coat become an obsession…All he want to do is to be a Game Helper.

There is no possibility for Tom or Nate to enter to chat without being assailed by one this characters with a “Pleaaaaseee, make me a Helper!!!”. Some of them sits hours and days at newbie chat, patiently waiting for the opportunity to help a newbie when pumpkings are not there, to show everybody how good Helpers they could be. They also comment aloud how much they like to help other people, and how nice, friendly and patient they are. When they are told that they need to be 100 days old, they start counting days as the prisoners do, making marks in the wall. Their lives have no sense without the orange coat.

They lose appetite, don’t sleep, and they can’t concentrate or remember things. You can see them around Westland, singing strange songs about pumpkins with a crazy look in their eyes.

He needs a daddy and a mommy, he needs a scold… The Troublemaker!:

This kids (some of them already in their 50ies) are not cheaters, and they are not dangerous, but they like to rebel against authority, so they always have trouble with admins and staffs at the game. They behave as if they were born to defend a fair cause. No matter if there is a real reason or not (that’s just an insignificant detail)… they just need to proclaim their position flying the flag of rebellion.

There are many ways to tease people and build a cause to fight for…it can go from showing the hairy ass at the profile pic, to burp the complete alphabet in chat (I swear it can be done… I used to do it when I was 11 years old). The next step, once the problem is brilliantly created, is to defend it as if it were a public interest issue… That’s a mission for The Troublemaker!… he will run to post a long speech at Game Discussion forum, talking about the world’s right to know his pretty ass… He will mail the whole Great Hall claiming for help, because he is about to be unfairly penalized for expressing himself… He will make a mail chain to collect firms, open an twitter account for his cause, and write a letter to Green Peace that starts saying “Save my ass!


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This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 14th, 2010 at 14:44 and is filed under RedMoons Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

5 comments so far


i resemble that comment, and proud of it!!!!! someone has to keep ignorance and poor choices at bay!!!! sometimes people need to hear the facts of the matter!!!!

i have fought for what i thought was right, and will til the day i die. if you are not man enough to discuss your ideas or beliefs, that is ok.

just do not talk smack about people that have a set to stand up for what they think is right, do not discourage people from finding their voice and standing up for what they feel is right, and most of all, put the seat up after you are done peeing.

December 14th, 2010 at 19:57

Lol! Very nice. I bet you have more in stock!

December 15th, 2010 at 01:41

Well done, very enjoyable! – Tom.

December 16th, 2010 at 20:14

O_o i kind of feel identified with the first 2…may be a little with the 3th…

!WTG! Red, Keep the good work

December 16th, 2010 at 22:49

The I_Wannabe_Helper are so annoying. There is also another type called the The_Subliminal_Messenger. These players bring up conversation about the helper/staff/admin position and always talk about “hopefully getting it” or “I would be a good asset to the GH” or the kiss-asses that mail you everyday asking how your day is etc in hopes for a promotion. Rule of thumb is, 9 times out of 10 if you ask me for a promotion you get nothing :)

December 18th, 2010 at 14:11

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