Posts Tagged ‘dark warriors’

21
Dec

A letter to Santa, from a noob of Westland

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

Dear DW Santa:

I just want you to know that I have been a good kid since I started playing Dark Warriors 11 days ago, and I deserve one of those eggs that everybody is talking about in Westland (it seems that everybody is sitting on an egg these days…). There is a grumpy yellow lady called Saint RedMoon that apparently doesn’t think the same, but I’m sure that once that you hear my story you will share my point of view.

I couldn’t even count the number of cats that I rescued at the Forest, and how many old ladies I helped, searching for lost children, but I can tell you that they were a lot. I was trying to collect gold to buy a row boat and do some piracy at the Seafare, but every time that I reached the needed amount, an ox came and stole it all. I don’t know why would an ox want to have all that money… they eat grass, its not that he needs it to buy caviar!. I tried to go trapping to catch the ox and end with my problem, but all I got were squirrels and rabbits… so I guess its a slick one.

There were other creatures stealing me and killing me every half hour, not just animals, but vegetables (Westland is a wild world…there are brave beans, mortal celeries, and dangerous onions…), so I decided to end with my miserably life and start again from zero. But it resulted that creating a new account wasn’t the best solution for me… The yellow old grumpy lady Saint RedMoon gave me a scold and deleted my new shinning character, so I went back to my old pants and to get mugged again.

I decided to be funny and friendly with that lady, to cheer her up a little. As I have the amazing ability to build a complete Christmas tree with emoticons at chat, I went there and worked a lot filling lines and lines with smileys. There was a player called Kinnison who apparently appreciated my art a lot, because he couldn’t stop laughing and celebrating what I was doing, giving me drinks of beer with pee (this people is really strange…). But the yellow lady doesn’t have a good eye for art… she yelled at me again, telling me not to flood the chat with smileys. When I tried to make it again, so she could see that I was just making a Chistmas tree, she got completely mad and banned me from chat.

So now all I can do is to keep rescuing cats, hoping that you bring me a nice egg for Christmas, and also a Merchant Tricorne that could protect me from the ox and the rest of the dangerous creatures while I’m trying to help the old ladies to find their grandchildren.
Ohh, and please, don’t forget to leave a present to the grumpy yellow lady… maybe you could make her smile.
Thanks in advance,

A Westland Noob

Merry Christmast for all of you!!!
I wish you an enjoyable holiday close to the ones that you love, and a celebration plenty of peace, laughs and nice moments.


RedMoon


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14
Dec

DW Fauna III

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

And here we go again…
I was bitching with the girls until 3:00AM last night, and then I went home and had insomnia until 5:00AM… The alarm crashed against my poor, semi drunk brain at 7:30AM… So imagine, just imagine how sharp and grumpy I am today. In this conditions, I couldn’t possibly write anything but another DW Fauna. Let’s see if you recognize this players:

He is such a big mouth!... The Chat Monkey:

Like the fly in your ear… he is a background noise that never stops. His conversation feels like the commercial break when you are watching a good movie…annoying! you just wish for it to end soon!. So you learn to disregard him. You get used to miss his lines at chat when reading, and when you notice that he is talking to you, just answer with emoticons or words like “ohh”, “really?”, “lol” without reading the whole speech (just as you do with your mother, yes, that’s the technique…).

The Chat Monkey is usually very friendly (he is continously looking for a victim ear that could hear him, so he needs to be friendly to survive) and has an incredible ability to talk silly things. I didn’t know there was such an amount of dummy stuff to talk about until I met a chat monkey for the first time. Though when he runs out of audience, he can keep talking, (ohhh yes!) to himself… but guess what?… he will do it aloud. He will take the effort to write it all, so you don’t happen to miss a line when coming back to chat!

Orange, I want it orange!… The I_wannabe_Helper:

He is 4 days old at the game when he find out about the orange guys. Since that moment, the orange coat become an obsession…All he want to do is to be a Game Helper.

There is no possibility for Tom or Nate to enter to chat without being assailed by one this characters with a “Pleaaaaseee, make me a Helper!!!”. Some of them sits hours and days at newbie chat, patiently waiting for the opportunity to help a newbie when pumpkings are not there, to show everybody how good Helpers they could be. They also comment aloud how much they like to help other people, and how nice, friendly and patient they are. When they are told that they need to be 100 days old, they start counting days as the prisoners do, making marks in the wall. Their lives have no sense without the orange coat.

They lose appetite, don’t sleep, and they can’t concentrate or remember things. You can see them around Westland, singing strange songs about pumpkins with a crazy look in their eyes.

He needs a daddy and a mommy, he needs a scold… The Troublemaker!:

This kids (some of them already in their 50ies) are not cheaters, and they are not dangerous, but they like to rebel against authority, so they always have trouble with admins and staffs at the game. They behave as if they were born to defend a fair cause. No matter if there is a real reason or not (that’s just an insignificant detail)… they just need to proclaim their position flying the flag of rebellion.

There are many ways to tease people and build a cause to fight for…it can go from showing the hairy ass at the profile pic, to burp the complete alphabet in chat (I swear it can be done… I used to do it when I was 11 years old). The next step, once the problem is brilliantly created, is to defend it as if it were a public interest issue… That’s a mission for The Troublemaker!… he will run to post a long speech at Game Discussion forum, talking about the world’s right to know his pretty ass… He will mail the whole Great Hall claiming for help, because he is about to be unfairly penalized for expressing himself… He will make a mail chain to collect firms, open an twitter account for his cause, and write a letter to Green Peace that starts saying “Save my ass!

RedMoon


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8
Dec

Warning!. There is a noob at poker!

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

Ok, first of all, I have a confession to make: I have been playing Dark Warriors for 2 years and 46 days and I didn’t enter to the casino until last month. At the beginning I was distracted with other features of the game, and later I was carrying the “poker virgin” complex…I had never been there and didn’t want to look like a noob. I was embarrassed to ask someone to teach me how to play. Then one day I told my secret to someone that helped me to get out of my trauma (thank you Raspy!).

Now, when I do something, I really try hard to make it right. So here comes my next confession: in one month I played 153 games and 2201 poker hands. As you can see, I really jumped in with both feet!.
And speaking about the time that I spent sitting on a poker table… The chairs seem to be made of stone or wood. Not sure which of those materials they used, but I’m sure they don’t have a cushion. And believe me, after 2201 hands sited there, I really need a cushion!. I think I will have to re draw my ass after all this time playing.

Another thing I have to tell you about poker, is that it seems to be a male’s territory. I think that just once I found another girl there. We are a rare species. So considering that I was a noob playing against experienced players, I made use of subtle feminine wiles to play my game, and picked a very sexy avatar to distract the blokes (no, it didn’t work… but hey! at least I tried!).

Everything was sweet and nice… I was gently losing my money in a pleasant way, until I faced one of those “All In” guys for the first time. It felt like someone was throwing grenades to the table. My first thought was “so you think that I’m a weak inexperienced woman that will run away with my tail between the legs?… well, I will show you that I can be more tough than you are!”… Wrong tactic. I lost gold, more gold, my dignity, more gold, and I even bet my own grandmother when I run out of gold! (poor granny… I’m still trying to recover her). Later I learned that those “All In” people could be easily managed if you are patient. From time to time, the river will have some mercy and send you nice cards, if you wait until that miracle happens, the grenade will blow up in the “All In” guy’s face.

With time, I noticed that its not about the cards… its about who has the control of the game. And to have the control, you have to be secure of yourself, and unpredictable. Well, there was my opportunity to win!… “Unpredictable” could be my second name if my parents would have had more imagination!. I was born to be unpredictable!. So I started to experiment with it. I had to learn how to bluff, and how to be tricky and hide that I had something when I had good cards. At the beginning it was as simple as doing exactly the opposite that your cards are asking you to do… if I had a pair of aces in hand, I just checked without raising the bet until the end, so everyone though I had nothing. If I had nothing, I bet all my bank account, my dog and my pants.

The problem is that I’m an obsessive person that always wants to do it better… so I started to think that if I acted like if I had nothing maybe they could think that I was doing it because I have something good and wanted to hide it… So the best thing to do was to behave as if I had a lot when I had a lot, so they though that I had nothing and was bluffing…But at some point I get lost on that thinking path, and started to randomly behave in different ways, no matter which cards I had. That resulted in huge loses, and the fact that now everybody thinks I’m just nuts and play terrible poker!.

But I have to say it: even losing every day, I got addicted to poker and I enjoy a lot playing. I can’t wait for Tom to release a poker chip package (but please… please, have some mercy and include a cushion on the deal!). I also met exceptional people at the poker tables. And I never lose the hope to stop losing one day, and start to win. Why not?.

Red Moon

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30
Nov

What’s your dirty little secret?

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

If my wife knows that I bought the Ice Pack she will freeze my ballsI have to leave now, my hubby is just arriving and if he catch me playing again he will kick my assI can’t wait for my spouse to leave the house with the kids so I can play in peace and enjoy… Are those lines familiar to you?. Have you ever heard a player saying things like that?. Well, I have heard that many times.

I have seen respectable people that hides at the bathroom with the laptop to play, pretending to feel sick of their stomachs; some others that get a new credit card to spend at the game without telling a word to their partners… I have even know about a guy that took a female character instead of a male’s one because “his wife is too jelous, and that’s the only way she allows him to play”, could you believe it?!!!.
After seeing all that I came to a conclusion that I want to share with you here: for some players, the game is a lover. It´s that dirty little secret that makes them happy. The forbidden exciting pleasure that they hide in the closet. The prohibited activity that makes them feel young again.


I always imagine those players making up excuses to get that free time to play… things likehoney, I’ve just received an important mail from work… please, don’t disturb me for a little while, I could be fired if I don’t finish that report asap(and there is when our guy runs to play poker, of course!).
I can even make a mental picture of the wife yelling at the guilty husband you were at Dark Warriors again! I smell the upper ven in your hair! And yesterday you were dreaming about it… I heard you repeating 175.000 kills…180.000 kills…190.000 kills all night long!.

Now I can’t avoid wondering… Why these players keep hidding the game to their partners? … Is it that they need to keep it at a “prohibited” path in their lives because they feel more excitement in that way, or are they just being greedy and doesn’t want to share the fun?.

Experience shows that entertainment activities with your better half could be an excellent idea. I think about Mama and Ox, husband and wife in real life that plays all the OGN games together and daily have a lot of fun with that. I also remember Begone and Sir Lee, fighting arm with arm at the ven; Devious and TheNiteMare, and so many other successful cases of real life couples improving their game experience by shearing the same hobby…

So my advice for those players that behave as if the game were their lover is this: relax, have fun, invite your better half to get into it… Make it a threesome!


RedMoon

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24
Nov

DW Fauna II

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

So you read the first DW Fauna blog and smiled relieved because you didn’t recognize yourself in any of the characters, right?… well, I have news for you: those weren’t all the characters. Here is the second article of that serial, and there will be more DW Fauna coming from time to time (depending on my bitching mood… and you already know that I’m a fickle person..).

This is another selection of the species that inhabit our game community. I hope you will recognize some of them around…

So sickly sweet  and easy going… The Friend’s Collector:

You will easily recognize this character because his first words for you will be “Do you want to be my friend?”… Though sometimes he save words and you will just find the friend’s request in your logs, without explanation. If you go to his profile to check who the hell is that insane that want to be your friend without knowing you (believe me, most of the people wouldn’t send me a friend’s request after knowing me better) and you find that he is just 3 days old at the game and already have 1049 friends, then your are facing a Friend’s Collector. Don’t panic, but consider yourself busted.

He will do what he want, he will get you, no matter the cost… you will fall sooner or later, so my advice is to resign yourself and accept the friend’s request. If you resist to it, you will be teasing his hunting spirit and he will chase you forever and ever. So it’s better to lose this battle and save your energies for better wars… there is no technique, skill or trick that you could possibly use to discourage a Friend’s Collector… If you shout “I hate you!!!” in his face, he will reply  “ok, now can you be my friend?”… If you farm him and fill his logs with your name, he will send the friend’s request to your logs anyway… if you try to be as gross and ugly as you can, he will find you lovely…If you run away screaming, and go to the Seafare and flee by ship, trying to put an ocean between you and him… well, be prepared to find a bottle floating at the sea…there will be a scrap of paper inside it, and guess what is written on it?…”Do you want to be my friend?”.

Don’t pee in your pants!, here comes… The Bully:

He is the kind of person that could cut in pieces a kindergarten kid in front of you and eat him just to show you how tough he is. He walks like if he were carrying two heavy buckets, one in each hand, with his arms and shoulders tensed, his big chest swelled, and his impressive jaw.

There is something that you have to know about him: he has a conditioned response, and its just one, the same one, for every external stimulus. This is a limited character that just knows one way to do things…and that way is to kick your ass. Whatever you do to him, he will kick your ass… You ask him a question and he don’t know the answer?: he will kick your ass. You say something smart that he don’t understand it?: he will kick your ass. You smile at him, set a trade with him, mail him, or tip him at the bar?: he will kick your ass anyway!. Ohhh… and of course, he will run to post the logs at chat or forums thinking to himself: “I’m good!”.

He just leaves to be able to come back…The Compulsive Quitter:

Yes, you know how it is, because you experienced it many times. A repeated deja vu. The Compulsive Quitter usually start his farewell with a shocking, sad, unforgettable post at forums. People spread the word, and we all start to mail him or her, crying our eyes out… He gives away his stuff between his friends, replies mails and swear that nobody could possibly convince him to stay, because its his time to leave and he is done with the game. Then comes the chat scene… we all get drunk with him, hugging each other, and we end the night singing silly songs and remembering when we all were newbies and dumb, and the markets were cheap, and the old buddies were there…

But the following day, you go to chat and everybody is drunk again, singing silly songs and remembering when we all were newbies and dumb, and the markets were cheap, and the old buddies were there… You rub your eyes and ask around if the farewell celebration lasted all nigh… but no, its not that… our friend have just come back and they are all celebrating his arrival!. The result, is foreseeable: this kind of characters likes so much to quit and come back that we live half of our in game lives completely drunk at chat, hugging each other and singing silly songs…

Red Moon

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17
Nov

DW and my Sanity!

   Posted by: Ditrick_Capone    in The Mafia Connection

Why do you play Dark Warriors (DW)?  Whatever your reason, I offer you mine.

I am Ditrick Capone, I am one of DW’s clan owners who lead a pack of mobsters and I have been playing DW for over 2 years now.

My real life work is one that is pressure packed and very stressful at times.  To relieve myself of stress, I play golf.  Unfortunately golf is a sport that needs to be played during daylight and on the average one can complete the game in 4 hours.  What happens when you want to “de-stress” yourself in the middle of the night or during rainy days?  Well, the answer to this is DARK WARRIORS!  Yes, I have discovered that DW can be helpful in keeping my sanity in check.

What is it about this game that helps me keep sane?  Well, the format of being in a clan and meeting other members is an awesome experience.  You can make friends from all around the world, learn from other players their culture and develop friendship that can extend beyond DW.

Keep Sane! Play DW!

Well aside from that, I find it amusing to be somebody else in a make believe world.  As my name implies, I am a mafia in DW, well lost in the medieval times (I hope I got the era correct), I think we have been transported back in time.  That is another nice thing, nobody will stop you from coming up with your own theme.

Oh and to add to just making friends in the game, I think a “DW couple” turned real life couple.  Awesome that such thing can happen in the game.  We all have our reasons, I’d like to hear yours………………………….

So for me, I play to keep myself sane in real life and make friends all over the globe.  How about you? Why do you play?

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14
Nov

DW Fauna I

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants


There are some days when I wake up feeling that the last thing I drank last night was a bottle of acid. My words are sharper than ever, and I have that incredible skill to bitch about people and have fun with it. Today is one of those days… so lets take advantage of my mood and use it to make you smile by giving an evil look to some general group of characters that settle our beloved Game Community.
It would be almost impossible to mention all the different kind of characters that makes up the DW fauna, but I’m feeling scathing enough today to give it a shot and mention some of them here. I will just describe the ones that amuse me more, of course!.
Lets see if you recognize some of these personalities around you…

That pain in the ass… The Beggar:

We all have ever met one of them, we all have received one of those mails, we all have noticed that familiar attitude of the player that suddenly act as if he were your best friend and the next thing that happens is that you receive a mail that starts with “Hi mate, could I borrow…”.

The beggar was a simple creature at the beginning of times in DW, but later they became more sophisticated, because their first specimens where vituperated by the whole DW population… so as every specie that wants to survive, they adapted to the conditions and developed new ways to camouflage themselves. You wont see a good beggar coming. He will approach in a silent way, he will watch you and wait… He will act as the tick that waits patiently on a tree for the dog to pass down there to jump on his back.  So watch your back, my friends… the beggar is always around, ready to jump on you!.

Ladies and gentleman, with you…The Dissatisfied:

There is nothing that you can do to make him happy… He will hate every change at the game, criticize every improvement, disqualify everyone’s ideas and oppose to any decision.

The funny thing about these characters is that they usually don’t have personal ideas or suggestions… All their energy is used to disagree about everything. If the sun is shinning at the sky, they yearn for the rain… But if it is raining, then they will yell to the clouds because “its not fair!”.

With time and experience, I learnt to appreciate those grumpy yelling characters. For good or for bad they are there to cause polemic, and sometimes polemic is really funny.

And there they are, so cloying … The Lovely People:

Don’t you ever think that there are people who just can’t be so good?. Nobody is so good… we all have moments, we all have a dark side, we are all humans. But there seems to be a particular fauna that works hard to be the best friend, the most dedicated clan member, the most sensitive fellow gamer… All at the same time!. Again… nobody is so good!. The Lovely People never gets mad about a thing, never complains, if you slap them they will turn the other cheek. They always take everything serious, they explain the jokes and find a moral on them, they understand the funny jerk at chat and make him look as a misunderstood child that just needs love.

I have to say it. I could sound evil but I have to say it… being so good is lovely… but damn boring, lol!. Give me some irony, give me some out of place comment, give me some sarcasm, and I will believe you. But nobody is so good!.

Ohh, yes! you will recognize her easilyThe Seducer:

They are the queens everywhere they go. They know how to call attention, they know how to seduce and be the ones. They look at the mirror before entering to chat, and use some perfume in their mails, they posts 10 pics per weeks at Non Game Discussion forum (you know… “that’s me with my cuddly toy, that’s me brushing my teeth, that’s me changing a light bulb, that’s me cutting the grass… me me me) .

But c’mon!… Be honest… in a game where 80% of the players are males, all girls are queens, lol. The difference between these ones and that ones is that The Seducers really believe in their roles, and behave like Hollywood actresses that haven’t been discovered yet.

Could I have your attention everybody, with you… The Attention Caller:

They are prepared to do anything, and I really mean anything to call public attention. Losing dignity in the meantime is not really a problem. They are the ones that always make the silly comment out of place at chat… they are the ones that manage it to be farmed by everyone because they messed it up… they are the kind of characters that you add to your black wish list. The Attention Caller needs to be seen, no matter how. If it is about being the best loser ever…well, they can make it. If it is about being the bigger jerk… of course, there they go. If it is about being a pain in the ass… ohh, please! that’s not difficult!.

These are just some stereotyped and exaggerated characters, none of them is a real character since people is more multifaceted than that,  but I bet that all of you have recognized some characteristics around there.
Luckily our Game Community is so assorted and complete that you will be able to find all kind of people. But at the end of the day, you keep the great people with you and have some fun about the rest. That’s the idea, that is what is all about.


Red Moon

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