Posts Tagged ‘noob’


A letter to Santa, from a noob of Westland

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

Dear DW Santa:

I just want you to know that I have been a good kid since I started playing Dark Warriors 11 days ago, and I deserve one of those eggs that everybody is talking about in Westland (it seems that everybody is sitting on an egg these days…). There is a grumpy yellow lady called Saint RedMoon that apparently doesn’t think the same, but I’m sure that once that you hear my story you will share my point of view.

I couldn’t even count the number of cats that I rescued at the Forest, and how many old ladies I helped, searching for lost children, but I can tell you that they were a lot. I was trying to collect gold to buy a row boat and do some piracy at the Seafare, but every time that I reached the needed amount, an ox came and stole it all. I don’t know why would an ox want to have all that money… they eat grass, its not that he needs it to buy caviar!. I tried to go trapping to catch the ox and end with my problem, but all I got were squirrels and rabbits… so I guess its a slick one.

There were other creatures stealing me and killing me every half hour, not just animals, but vegetables (Westland is a wild world…there are brave beans, mortal celeries, and dangerous onions…), so I decided to end with my miserably life and start again from zero. But it resulted that creating a new account wasn’t the best solution for me… The yellow old grumpy lady Saint RedMoon gave me a scold and deleted my new shinning character, so I went back to my old pants and to get mugged again.

I decided to be funny and friendly with that lady, to cheer her up a little. As I have the amazing ability to build a complete Christmas tree with emoticons at chat, I went there and worked a lot filling lines and lines with smileys. There was a player called Kinnison who apparently appreciated my art a lot, because he couldn’t stop laughing and celebrating what I was doing, giving me drinks of beer with pee (this people is really strange…). But the yellow lady doesn’t have a good eye for art… she yelled at me again, telling me not to flood the chat with smileys. When I tried to make it again, so she could see that I was just making a Chistmas tree, she got completely mad and banned me from chat.

So now all I can do is to keep rescuing cats, hoping that you bring me a nice egg for Christmas, and also a Merchant Tricorne that could protect me from the ox and the rest of the dangerous creatures while I’m trying to help the old ladies to find their grandchildren.
Ohh, and please, don’t forget to leave a present to the grumpy yellow lady… maybe you could make her smile.
Thanks in advance,

A Westland Noob

Merry Christmast for all of you!!!
I wish you an enjoyable holiday close to the ones that you love, and a celebration plenty of peace, laughs and nice moments.


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Warning!. There is a noob at poker!

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

Ok, first of all, I have a confession to make: I have been playing Dark Warriors for 2 years and 46 days and I didn’t enter to the casino until last month. At the beginning I was distracted with other features of the game, and later I was carrying the “poker virgin” complex…I had never been there and didn’t want to look like a noob. I was embarrassed to ask someone to teach me how to play. Then one day I told my secret to someone that helped me to get out of my trauma (thank you Raspy!).

Now, when I do something, I really try hard to make it right. So here comes my next confession: in one month I played 153 games and 2201 poker hands. As you can see, I really jumped in with both feet!.
And speaking about the time that I spent sitting on a poker table… The chairs seem to be made of stone or wood. Not sure which of those materials they used, but I’m sure they don’t have a cushion. And believe me, after 2201 hands sited there, I really need a cushion!. I think I will have to re draw my ass after all this time playing.

Another thing I have to tell you about poker, is that it seems to be a male’s territory. I think that just once I found another girl there. We are a rare species. So considering that I was a noob playing against experienced players, I made use of subtle feminine wiles to play my game, and picked a very sexy avatar to distract the blokes (no, it didn’t work… but hey! at least I tried!).

Everything was sweet and nice… I was gently losing my money in a pleasant way, until I faced one of those “All In” guys for the first time. It felt like someone was throwing grenades to the table. My first thought was “so you think that I’m a weak inexperienced woman that will run away with my tail between the legs?… well, I will show you that I can be more tough than you are!”… Wrong tactic. I lost gold, more gold, my dignity, more gold, and I even bet my own grandmother when I run out of gold! (poor granny… I’m still trying to recover her). Later I learned that those “All In” people could be easily managed if you are patient. From time to time, the river will have some mercy and send you nice cards, if you wait until that miracle happens, the grenade will blow up in the “All In” guy’s face.

With time, I noticed that its not about the cards… its about who has the control of the game. And to have the control, you have to be secure of yourself, and unpredictable. Well, there was my opportunity to win!… “Unpredictable” could be my second name if my parents would have had more imagination!. I was born to be unpredictable!. So I started to experiment with it. I had to learn how to bluff, and how to be tricky and hide that I had something when I had good cards. At the beginning it was as simple as doing exactly the opposite that your cards are asking you to do… if I had a pair of aces in hand, I just checked without raising the bet until the end, so everyone though I had nothing. If I had nothing, I bet all my bank account, my dog and my pants.

The problem is that I’m an obsessive person that always wants to do it better… so I started to think that if I acted like if I had nothing maybe they could think that I was doing it because I have something good and wanted to hide it… So the best thing to do was to behave as if I had a lot when I had a lot, so they though that I had nothing and was bluffing…But at some point I get lost on that thinking path, and started to randomly behave in different ways, no matter which cards I had. That resulted in huge loses, and the fact that now everybody thinks I’m just nuts and play terrible poker!.

But I have to say it: even losing every day, I got addicted to poker and I enjoy a lot playing. I can’t wait for Tom to release a poker chip package (but please… please, have some mercy and include a cushion on the deal!). I also met exceptional people at the poker tables. And I never lose the hope to stop losing one day, and start to win. Why not?.

Red Moon

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