Posts Tagged ‘people’

14
Dec

DW Fauna III

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

And here we go again…
I was bitching with the girls until 3:00AM last night, and then I went home and had insomnia until 5:00AM… The alarm crashed against my poor, semi drunk brain at 7:30AM… So imagine, just imagine how sharp and grumpy I am today. In this conditions, I couldn’t possibly write anything but another DW Fauna. Let’s see if you recognize this players:

He is such a big mouth!... The Chat Monkey:

Like the fly in your ear… he is a background noise that never stops. His conversation feels like the commercial break when you are watching a good movie…annoying! you just wish for it to end soon!. So you learn to disregard him. You get used to miss his lines at chat when reading, and when you notice that he is talking to you, just answer with emoticons or words like “ohh”, “really?”, “lol” without reading the whole speech (just as you do with your mother, yes, that’s the technique…).

The Chat Monkey is usually very friendly (he is continously looking for a victim ear that could hear him, so he needs to be friendly to survive) and has an incredible ability to talk silly things. I didn’t know there was such an amount of dummy stuff to talk about until I met a chat monkey for the first time. Though when he runs out of audience, he can keep talking, (ohhh yes!) to himself… but guess what?… he will do it aloud. He will take the effort to write it all, so you don’t happen to miss a line when coming back to chat!

Orange, I want it orange!… The I_wannabe_Helper:

He is 4 days old at the game when he find out about the orange guys. Since that moment, the orange coat become an obsession…All he want to do is to be a Game Helper.

There is no possibility for Tom or Nate to enter to chat without being assailed by one this characters with a “Pleaaaaseee, make me a Helper!!!”. Some of them sits hours and days at newbie chat, patiently waiting for the opportunity to help a newbie when pumpkings are not there, to show everybody how good Helpers they could be. They also comment aloud how much they like to help other people, and how nice, friendly and patient they are. When they are told that they need to be 100 days old, they start counting days as the prisoners do, making marks in the wall. Their lives have no sense without the orange coat.

They lose appetite, don’t sleep, and they can’t concentrate or remember things. You can see them around Westland, singing strange songs about pumpkins with a crazy look in their eyes.

He needs a daddy and a mommy, he needs a scold… The Troublemaker!:

This kids (some of them already in their 50ies) are not cheaters, and they are not dangerous, but they like to rebel against authority, so they always have trouble with admins and staffs at the game. They behave as if they were born to defend a fair cause. No matter if there is a real reason or not (that’s just an insignificant detail)… they just need to proclaim their position flying the flag of rebellion.

There are many ways to tease people and build a cause to fight for…it can go from showing the hairy ass at the profile pic, to burp the complete alphabet in chat (I swear it can be done… I used to do it when I was 11 years old). The next step, once the problem is brilliantly created, is to defend it as if it were a public interest issue… That’s a mission for The Troublemaker!… he will run to post a long speech at Game Discussion forum, talking about the world’s right to know his pretty ass… He will mail the whole Great Hall claiming for help, because he is about to be unfairly penalized for expressing himself… He will make a mail chain to collect firms, open an twitter account for his cause, and write a letter to Green Peace that starts saying “Save my ass!

RedMoon


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24
Nov

DW Fauna II

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

So you read the first DW Fauna blog and smiled relieved because you didn’t recognize yourself in any of the characters, right?… well, I have news for you: those weren’t all the characters. Here is the second article of that serial, and there will be more DW Fauna coming from time to time (depending on my bitching mood… and you already know that I’m a fickle person..).

This is another selection of the species that inhabit our game community. I hope you will recognize some of them around…

So sickly sweet  and easy going… The Friend’s Collector:

You will easily recognize this character because his first words for you will be “Do you want to be my friend?”… Though sometimes he save words and you will just find the friend’s request in your logs, without explanation. If you go to his profile to check who the hell is that insane that want to be your friend without knowing you (believe me, most of the people wouldn’t send me a friend’s request after knowing me better) and you find that he is just 3 days old at the game and already have 1049 friends, then your are facing a Friend’s Collector. Don’t panic, but consider yourself busted.

He will do what he want, he will get you, no matter the cost… you will fall sooner or later, so my advice is to resign yourself and accept the friend’s request. If you resist to it, you will be teasing his hunting spirit and he will chase you forever and ever. So it’s better to lose this battle and save your energies for better wars… there is no technique, skill or trick that you could possibly use to discourage a Friend’s Collector… If you shout “I hate you!!!” in his face, he will reply  “ok, now can you be my friend?”… If you farm him and fill his logs with your name, he will send the friend’s request to your logs anyway… if you try to be as gross and ugly as you can, he will find you lovely…If you run away screaming, and go to the Seafare and flee by ship, trying to put an ocean between you and him… well, be prepared to find a bottle floating at the sea…there will be a scrap of paper inside it, and guess what is written on it?…”Do you want to be my friend?”.

Don’t pee in your pants!, here comes… The Bully:

He is the kind of person that could cut in pieces a kindergarten kid in front of you and eat him just to show you how tough he is. He walks like if he were carrying two heavy buckets, one in each hand, with his arms and shoulders tensed, his big chest swelled, and his impressive jaw.

There is something that you have to know about him: he has a conditioned response, and its just one, the same one, for every external stimulus. This is a limited character that just knows one way to do things…and that way is to kick your ass. Whatever you do to him, he will kick your ass… You ask him a question and he don’t know the answer?: he will kick your ass. You say something smart that he don’t understand it?: he will kick your ass. You smile at him, set a trade with him, mail him, or tip him at the bar?: he will kick your ass anyway!. Ohhh… and of course, he will run to post the logs at chat or forums thinking to himself: “I’m good!”.

He just leaves to be able to come back…The Compulsive Quitter:

Yes, you know how it is, because you experienced it many times. A repeated deja vu. The Compulsive Quitter usually start his farewell with a shocking, sad, unforgettable post at forums. People spread the word, and we all start to mail him or her, crying our eyes out… He gives away his stuff between his friends, replies mails and swear that nobody could possibly convince him to stay, because its his time to leave and he is done with the game. Then comes the chat scene… we all get drunk with him, hugging each other, and we end the night singing silly songs and remembering when we all were newbies and dumb, and the markets were cheap, and the old buddies were there…

But the following day, you go to chat and everybody is drunk again, singing silly songs and remembering when we all were newbies and dumb, and the markets were cheap, and the old buddies were there… You rub your eyes and ask around if the farewell celebration lasted all nigh… but no, its not that… our friend have just come back and they are all celebrating his arrival!. The result, is foreseeable: this kind of characters likes so much to quit and come back that we live half of our in game lives completely drunk at chat, hugging each other and singing silly songs…

Red Moon

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18
Nov

Skills

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

I found it out by chance, and since that day, I just can’t stop doing it. Here is a huge revelation for you that could completely change your lives: skills can be used in real life.

Yes, you read it correctly and I didn’t lose my senses (not completely… not yet). You just have to use your imagination (and don’t tell me that you don’t have imagination because I know that you use it all the time at the game!)… Believe me, by virtually using your skills in real life situations, you can improve and train your fantasy and have a lot of fun.

The day I discovered it I was in a boring first (and only) date with a guy that was a pain in the ass. You know, that kind of people that have a great esteem for themselves and thinks that everything that they say is interesting for everybody. I was trying to be polite and at least end the dinner before running away from him. But when he began to tell me about his degree’s achievements and started from the time when he received the Kindergarten Graduation Medal, I couldn’t stand it any more and suddenly a hidden door opened in my mind and I found myself thinking this…

1. RedMoon begins to pray. Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow Boring_Boy to tiny bits…in thy mercy. [2300 left]
2. RedMoon stands with his arms raised and prays on the souls of the undead spirits and touches Boring_Boy on the forehead. Boring_Boy has become encased on a stone tomb and is unable to talk! [1800 left]
3. Boring_Boy can’t talk!
4. Boring_Boy can’t talk!
5. RedMoon throws a parasite towards Boring_Boy! The parasite dug far into Boring_Boy. [900 left]
6. The parasite took control and lowered Boring_Boy stupidity by 25%.
7. The parasite took control and lowered Boring_Boy ego by 25%.
8. The parasite took control and sent Boring_Boy to sleep!
9. RedMoon shouts words of Righteousness and fill Boring_Boy with despair [DEAD]

Now here is a serious advice… Avoid thinking aloud!. I learnt it after the boy left the restaurant screaming because he though I was insane, and the sad result was that I had to pay for the dinner…

From that day, a whole world of possibilities opened for me…

¿A boring meeting at work?… just use Triangle and Unleash Hell and enjoy the destruction!. The caretaker of your building is a jerk?… Electric Wind without doubt, it works great on caretakers!. Your mother can’t stop expressing herself about everything regarding to your life?… nothing better than Slow Mind (works on mothers in law too!). Someone is extremely angry with you?… I recommend you to use Ice Shower. A handsome boy or a hot girl (depending on if you are male or female) is passing by in front of your nose and didn’t even notice you?… well, hurry up and use the Net Attack!.

You can combine skills and tweak them for better results. But there are two things that you have to know… the first one is that if you start doing this, you wont be able to stand a boring or unpleasant situation any more without using your skills. And the second one, is that with time and experience, you will develop a new real skill, that allows you to have fun and laugh in the worse moments. With that skill, you will turn the tedious days, hours or minutes into worthwhile ones.

RedMoon

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14
Nov

DW Fauna I

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants


There are some days when I wake up feeling that the last thing I drank last night was a bottle of acid. My words are sharper than ever, and I have that incredible skill to bitch about people and have fun with it. Today is one of those days… so lets take advantage of my mood and use it to make you smile by giving an evil look to some general group of characters that settle our beloved Game Community.
It would be almost impossible to mention all the different kind of characters that makes up the DW fauna, but I’m feeling scathing enough today to give it a shot and mention some of them here. I will just describe the ones that amuse me more, of course!.
Lets see if you recognize some of these personalities around you…

That pain in the ass… The Beggar:

We all have ever met one of them, we all have received one of those mails, we all have noticed that familiar attitude of the player that suddenly act as if he were your best friend and the next thing that happens is that you receive a mail that starts with “Hi mate, could I borrow…”.

The beggar was a simple creature at the beginning of times in DW, but later they became more sophisticated, because their first specimens where vituperated by the whole DW population… so as every specie that wants to survive, they adapted to the conditions and developed new ways to camouflage themselves. You wont see a good beggar coming. He will approach in a silent way, he will watch you and wait… He will act as the tick that waits patiently on a tree for the dog to pass down there to jump on his back.  So watch your back, my friends… the beggar is always around, ready to jump on you!.

Ladies and gentleman, with you…The Dissatisfied:

There is nothing that you can do to make him happy… He will hate every change at the game, criticize every improvement, disqualify everyone’s ideas and oppose to any decision.

The funny thing about these characters is that they usually don’t have personal ideas or suggestions… All their energy is used to disagree about everything. If the sun is shinning at the sky, they yearn for the rain… But if it is raining, then they will yell to the clouds because “its not fair!”.

With time and experience, I learnt to appreciate those grumpy yelling characters. For good or for bad they are there to cause polemic, and sometimes polemic is really funny.

And there they are, so cloying … The Lovely People:

Don’t you ever think that there are people who just can’t be so good?. Nobody is so good… we all have moments, we all have a dark side, we are all humans. But there seems to be a particular fauna that works hard to be the best friend, the most dedicated clan member, the most sensitive fellow gamer… All at the same time!. Again… nobody is so good!. The Lovely People never gets mad about a thing, never complains, if you slap them they will turn the other cheek. They always take everything serious, they explain the jokes and find a moral on them, they understand the funny jerk at chat and make him look as a misunderstood child that just needs love.

I have to say it. I could sound evil but I have to say it… being so good is lovely… but damn boring, lol!. Give me some irony, give me some out of place comment, give me some sarcasm, and I will believe you. But nobody is so good!.

Ohh, yes! you will recognize her easilyThe Seducer:

They are the queens everywhere they go. They know how to call attention, they know how to seduce and be the ones. They look at the mirror before entering to chat, and use some perfume in their mails, they posts 10 pics per weeks at Non Game Discussion forum (you know… “that’s me with my cuddly toy, that’s me brushing my teeth, that’s me changing a light bulb, that’s me cutting the grass… me me me) .

But c’mon!… Be honest… in a game where 80% of the players are males, all girls are queens, lol. The difference between these ones and that ones is that The Seducers really believe in their roles, and behave like Hollywood actresses that haven’t been discovered yet.

Could I have your attention everybody, with you… The Attention Caller:

They are prepared to do anything, and I really mean anything to call public attention. Losing dignity in the meantime is not really a problem. They are the ones that always make the silly comment out of place at chat… they are the ones that manage it to be farmed by everyone because they messed it up… they are the kind of characters that you add to your black wish list. The Attention Caller needs to be seen, no matter how. If it is about being the best loser ever…well, they can make it. If it is about being the bigger jerk… of course, there they go. If it is about being a pain in the ass… ohh, please! that’s not difficult!.

These are just some stereotyped and exaggerated characters, none of them is a real character since people is more multifaceted than that,  but I bet that all of you have recognized some characteristics around there.
Luckily our Game Community is so assorted and complete that you will be able to find all kind of people. But at the end of the day, you keep the great people with you and have some fun about the rest. That’s the idea, that is what is all about.


Red Moon

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