Archive for the ‘RedMoons Rants’ Category


Blogging, How hard can it be….Hello I am Serb

   Posted by: Serbitar

Well Hello. Any of you who know me keep it to yourself, those who do not know me I see this as a chance for personal growth so here it is, I am a 6ft 9″ Demi God of a man with diamond shoes and a golden toilet. I was once an obsessive Dark Warriors player but then I took an arrow to the knee (yes cheap Skyrim Joke there) and since then I have become a part-time gamer.

So I was living in the company of the living but as always this game is stickier than a lollipop found under the couch, and so I find myself daily checking my logs, my mail, training and even mining… As I write this I have played Dark Warriors for 2 years and 181 days, and I have mined for maybe 81 of those days, yet recently even the call of those musty dark mines has snared me yet again, 3 Burelia and 9 exp that is worth the carpal tunnel pain, lets go again!

So what is it that keeps us returning year after year? I think most would say its the people who play this game, and its hard to deny that logic without the other people its just me fantasizing about what Witch Gwyneth looks like. A mix of Megan Fox, Halle Berry and Beyonce if your interested. So the people of DW, we have a variety the vicious vegetables who keep the balance between alive, dead and crap I forgot to eat a beef stew. The new players who provide naive gullible nutrition for the growing veggies, all the way from these newbies to the oldies who spring up once every two years and remind us just how sticky this game can be.

Personally I don’t know what it is that keeps me returning, I absentmindedly log in and suddenly I am hooked again, could it be the people, could it be the hope that Nos or Ziggy have left PP on 100% and this could be that magical day I always dreamed of?

The problem that occurs when people do try and leave and return is they keep changing the damn thing, WTF happened to Westland? Where did subby options go? Jousting Cards what the hell we playing strip jousting now? These are versions of just a few of the questions that can be seen when returning players stumble back home after a drunken session in the real world. As always changes are met with 100% satisfied appreciation, easy way to ensure a 100% success record is not to read negative comments, simple example there of why I am not in charge of my countries economy.

I have just enjoyed Mama’s happy hour in local and the madness of 25 people all trying to bet on hi-lo chat and drink all at the same time, and I realized that these are the moments that keep us playing for 2 years and 181 days, grab your drink of choice and here’s too many more years, cheers!

Happy New Year


Where should I put the money?

   Posted by: Red Moon

When I woke up and saw the new economical changes this morning (even Tom avoided to call them “updates”) I remembered that after selling all my sapphires, part of my gear and part of my elements, for the first time in my in game life, I had 4 billion gold in my bank. So my first words this morning were something like “Ohh, crap! I will have to put all that gold in my ASSorted pair of shoes!!!”.
After that, Mama borrowed me her funny hat (meaning Merchang Tricorne), so I found myself holding the 4 billions in hand, and avoiding Seafare as a cat avoids water. I moved around Westland with all that gold and sound like a Christmas tree in the middle of a storm. You could certainly call me old bag now…old bag of gold!.
My next idea was to fund an illegal bank. I could buy a funny hat for me, and just fund the “RedShoes bank”, asking people to send me their funds, and holding them in my ASSorted pair of shoes, till they claim them back, and charging a 5% of interest for my ASSistance to save their funds.
Another brilliant idea that came to my mind is to provide a product that have a good reselling price, and that dont get so much taxes. As in real life people buys art to keep their resources safe, I could be buying Hunger’s drawings in DW…What do you think?.
I’m still trying to decide myself for any of those options, while I’m running around Westland with all my gold in hand, seeing the markets grow faster than our confusion.



Goodbye yellow coat

   Posted by: Red Moon Tags: , , , , ,

I finally stepped down from all my GH positions after a long time of being part of the Great Hall team at most OGN games. The main reason for it is that I need more time for me, to be more present and focused at real life, and the admin work is a lot of work and demands energy and time, so I asked Nate to release me from it. However, I will continue doing some background work at OGN Great Hall (and of course, I will continue playing poker and being a pain at the game as a regular player now!).
Being admin was a great experience that made me met amazing people, and I want to use this space to say thank you to all those that were there working with me shoulder by shoulder.

Nate: you have amazing leadership abilities, and you have been always there for us when we needed you. I’m sure that you will make a awesome career at real life, because you really have what is needed to do it. Thanks for your support. It have been a pleasure to work with you, and it will be always nice to keep working at your side.

Mama, Ox and Kvakaca: it have been really funny and exciting to work in team with you all, and to have such a great communication between us every day, not just to deal with cases and game related issues, but to have a laugh and talk about each others lives… that is something that we will continue doing because I appreciate you as real friends (that goes for you too Nate).

Tom: thanks for the trust and support. I hope I have been a little help for you during all this time.

To all the players that helped me many times mailing me about game related issues, informing me, and giving their opinion and points of view about things, thank you very much.
It was a pleasure to be at your service,



Red Shoes

   Posted by: Red Moon Tags: , , , , , ,

ok… This is what happened to me last Sunday…

As I went out two nights in a row, Friday and Saturday, it was 5 pm on Sunday and I was still on my pijamas, looking like a freak monster, with my disheveled hair, a demonic look on my eyes, a dead dragon breath, and rests of makeup on my face. I kept looking for my lost head all over the house. I was also sitting at a poker table at Dark Warriors, losing my chips happily and easy.

Then was when someone turned on the Hi Low Live at chat…

On my eclectic mood, I started to lose gold at Hi Low, lose chips at poker, search for my head… then to chat again to lose more gold and all over again… I was jumping from one place to another one without being really anywhere. Then, in one of my visits to chat, I bet to jackpot just for the hell of it, and went back to poker.

You know, I always have a little lurking window for local chat at the left side of the screen (admin’s bad habit). And the next thing that happened was an ace of spades on that window and me thinking that I really should stop drinking that much when going out.  I thought I was watching the wrong movie,  so I went to chat to check… but the Ace was still there. Then I though that maybe another card had passed after I bet jackpot… and went back to poker thinking to myself : “you, naive girl!”. But at the lurking window people kept saying my name.  So I went back to chat again and had the courage to click on refresh and take a look at my bank amount…

I had won 2,8 billion gold!!!

That’s when I fell down from the chair, with the result that my dog still gives me disapproval looks, because he though I was still drunk from last nigh.

You know, there is just one thing that I think about when I have money in my wallet: shoes.  So I was like one hour trying to calculate how many pair of shoes I would be able to buy with 2,8 billion gold. Once I got an idea, I run all over Westland looking for a shoes shop… but there are no shoe stores at Westand!!!. Then I had an idea… I put all the money in a case, and made a visit to Blacksmith.

When he started with his “*Cough Cough*, I don´t make equipment for weaklings” speech, I opened the case in front of his nose, and showed him the money saying “Look, sunshine, I could buy your ass with all this gold, and make you my personal butler, so you better start working and make me a nice pair of red shoes”.

Apparently Blacksmith, like most of men, likes either money and female violence.  He offered to make me one pair of shoes for each day of the week. He is still working on them, while I’m trying to find out where is the health spa at Westland…



The thief apprentice

   Posted by: Red Moon

After that terrible experience with my demon that made me realize that I’m a bad mother, I decided to try to be better, and pay some attention to my other kids…One of them has a retentive personality, the poor thing… and he have been compulsively saving piles of gold since he was born. Now, part of that gold became from stealing… (a huge part indeed). Yes, you are thinking about the right person…he is Ox, my “special” kleptomaniac son.

Concerned about the best way to understand my child, I decided to change my class and experience thieves skills… And that’s how my saga as a thief started…Ox and Mama Delicious, my son and my daughter in law, taught me how to steal money. Listening to them was like listening to Bonnie & Clyde’s advices. They are so good for crime!.The problem is that I’m not a strong girl, you know… so for me it was like trying to rob a bank with a plastic gun and a clown’s mask on. My first attempts were total fails… I commited suicide against most of the strong characters at the gold list. It took me a lot of thumps to learn the names of those that I wasn’t able to beat.

The second problem that I faced was my speed. And I’m not talking about my in game agility (that sucks…), I’m talking about my speed in real life, to make the right clicks with the mouse and such. I have the reaction’s capacity of a panda bear (a sleepy one), and the speed of a disorientated tortoise. So I arrived to the battle with my plastic gun and the crazy look on my clown’s mask, just when the opponent had left after saving his money at the bank and having two coffees with the bank’s manager.

Long working hours and hard sweating days were needed until I finally got my first big take. I got 16 millions, and you should have see me in that moment. I was happier than a dog with two tails. But ten minutes later I faced the most serious problem for my criminal career… I received a touching mail asking for the money back “because I was about to use it to buy medicine for my demon that is at bed with flu“.

You know, by nature, women comes to the world with an amazing capacity for guilt, but just a awesome coordinated team work between teachers, parents and ex boyfriends could achieve results as the ones that you can see on me. I’m the Queen of Guilt. If you stare at me, I will feel guilty without a clear reason… If you don’t talk to me, I will feel guilty about something that I can’t define… If you mess it up, I will feel guilty as hell…If you happen to be 1000 kilometers far away from me, and you accidentally step on a pile of shit… I will feel guilty anyway!!!.So just imagine how I felt when I received that touching mail… I bit my toe’s nails until I ended with them… What to do, what to do?….

There was when my anguished steps took me to The Hunger…

I don’t know how he made it, but it took him ten minutes to convince me that it was my right to have that gold on my bank, and the money was before at the other player’s hands by mistake. I got such a brain wash with Hunger’s speech that when he finished talking I went back to the ven looking for that noob to kick his ass one more time!.At the beginning we agreed on a complete mentoring program to make a bitch of me. But time showed us that I’m really bad for that, not tough enough, the spirit is not there… I did my best efforts to learn and take advantage of his evil advices… but I kept feeling guilty anyway when he wasn’t there to deal with it. So I offered to pay him 10% of my stealing to represent me.

That worked really good. He can be a complete asshole, and he do it with class and style… victims even give me helpful spectra after talking with him!. Now he is my Representative for all the stealing issues, and deal with the mugged people for me.   Every time I receive one of those touching mails, I just answer “Please, talk with my Representative about it”, and send it to The Hunger. Believe me, it’s the best spent money ever!.

Red Moon


My Big Shit Demon

   Posted by: Red Moon Tags: , , , , , ,

First thing that I have to say about this issue is that after seeing me searching like a fool during days and whining about not finding eggs anywhere, Ox had some mercy and gift me an Earth Egg for Christmas. So then was when I started to think that maybe I was a bad mother… I didn’t find my future baby child by myself, Santa brought me it, together with my new extra large panties, a 12 years scotch bottle and that horrible animal print dress that my aunt gave me!.

Next thing that happened is that I was playing poker all day or drinking at the local chat bar, and forgot to incubate the poor thing. So definitely an irresponsible, drunk, gambler mother…

The DW Social Worker started to visit my house. Sharpy is an absent father, and I’m a terrible mother… what kind of home could we provide for the baby demon?. According to my psychoanalyst I was forgetting to incubate the egg because I have a subconscious resistance to release my demons, whatever he wanted to say with that…

Finally something happened that saved the demon from living inside an egg forever… I got the habit to sit on the egg when I had to think about something important (exact same thing as you do in the bathroom, yes…). So in one way or another one, the egg was incubated and at last the big day arrived.

With such a messed incubation period of time, I was worried about the baby’s mental and emotional health. When he was about to hatch out from the egg, I was completely in panic. I couldn’t stop repeating to myself that I should have play classic music for him while he was inside the egg, or asked Sharpy to talk at it, or take it with me to the psychoanalyst (or at least to the bar…).

The eggshell was already broken but the creature didn’t show up. Ten minutes, twenty minutes, and entire hour passed, and his head wasn’t sticking yet…Finally I started to gently knock the shell saying: “Hello!!!… is anybody here?”… but nothing happened. Then I tried blowing air throw the shell’s hole, and nothing. I shook the egg and turn it upside down many times… but still nothing. Finally, I decided that maybe he didn’t had enough warm during the incubation, so I gently held a lighter to the shell… I guess that was too much for him…he just leaned out his head and yelled at me “what the hell are you doing???!!!. I refuse to get out in this conditions!. You can close the egg again and leave me alone, or take me to an asylum, but I won’t get out from here to be your experimental baby demon!!!”.

A coordinated team effort was necessary to convince him to get out from his egg. The psychoanalyst and the social worker moved to my house... even Sharpy was spending time with us for an entire week. We were all talking to the little creature during days, singing to him, giving him reasons to get out to the world. I think that he finally got sick of hearing us and one day he went out.

Ohhh boy… you should have seen him. He was really ugly. He looked like a tiny piece of dog’s shit with eyes, surrounded with a couple of lettuce leaves. But I was very careful and avoided saying anything about that to him… Apparently, according to the psychoanalyst (that discharged all his other patients and just stayed with us full time), he had a sensitive ego that could be hurt very easily, so I used to call him “my Big Shit Demon” to make him feel important.

He is slow and dumb but I don’t lose my hopes. We are giving him our love and support to help him. He probably wont be good for the Upper Ven (every time I take him there, he get lost and it takes me hours to find him)… he wont be good to hold an Orb (he already ate a lighting orb and ruined an evil orb by chewing it)… but I really don’t lose the hope to teach him to play poker one day or at least to stare at the other player’s cards and making some signs for me.
Time will tell…


Dear DW Santa:

I just want you to know that I have been a good kid since I started playing Dark Warriors 11 days ago, and I deserve one of those eggs that everybody is talking about in Westland (it seems that everybody is sitting on an egg these days…). There is a grumpy yellow lady called Saint RedMoon that apparently doesn’t think the same, but I’m sure that once that you hear my story you will share my point of view.

I couldn’t even count the number of cats that I rescued at the Forest, and how many old ladies I helped, searching for lost children, but I can tell you that they were a lot. I was trying to collect gold to buy a row boat and do some piracy at the Seafare, but every time that I reached the needed amount, an ox came and stole it all. I don’t know why would an ox want to have all that money… they eat grass, its not that he needs it to buy caviar!. I tried to go trapping to catch the ox and end with my problem, but all I got were squirrels and rabbits… so I guess its a slick one.

There were other creatures stealing me and killing me every half hour, not just animals, but vegetables (Westland is a wild world…there are brave beans, mortal celeries, and dangerous onions…), so I decided to end with my miserably life and start again from zero. But it resulted that creating a new account wasn’t the best solution for me… The yellow old grumpy lady Saint RedMoon gave me a scold and deleted my new shinning character, so I went back to my old pants and to get mugged again.

I decided to be funny and friendly with that lady, to cheer her up a little. As I have the amazing ability to build a complete Christmas tree with emoticons at chat, I went there and worked a lot filling lines and lines with smileys. There was a player called Kinnison who apparently appreciated my art a lot, because he couldn’t stop laughing and celebrating what I was doing, giving me drinks of beer with pee (this people is really strange…). But the yellow lady doesn’t have a good eye for art… she yelled at me again, telling me not to flood the chat with smileys. When I tried to make it again, so she could see that I was just making a Chistmas tree, she got completely mad and banned me from chat.

So now all I can do is to keep rescuing cats, hoping that you bring me a nice egg for Christmas, and also a Merchant Tricorne that could protect me from the ox and the rest of the dangerous creatures while I’m trying to help the old ladies to find their grandchildren.
Ohh, and please, don’t forget to leave a present to the grumpy yellow lady… maybe you could make her smile.
Thanks in advance,

A Westland Noob

Merry Christmast for all of you!!!
I wish you an enjoyable holiday close to the ones that you love, and a celebration plenty of peace, laughs and nice moments.



DW Fauna III

   Posted by: Red Moon Tags: , , , , , , ,

And here we go again…
I was bitching with the girls until 3:00AM last night, and then I went home and had insomnia until 5:00AM… The alarm crashed against my poor, semi drunk brain at 7:30AM… So imagine, just imagine how sharp and grumpy I am today. In this conditions, I couldn’t possibly write anything but another DW Fauna. Let’s see if you recognize this players:

He is such a big mouth!... The Chat Monkey:

Like the fly in your ear… he is a background noise that never stops. His conversation feels like the commercial break when you are watching a good movie…annoying! you just wish for it to end soon!. So you learn to disregard him. You get used to miss his lines at chat when reading, and when you notice that he is talking to you, just answer with emoticons or words like “ohh”, “really?”, “lol” without reading the whole speech (just as you do with your mother, yes, that’s the technique…).

The Chat Monkey is usually very friendly (he is continously looking for a victim ear that could hear him, so he needs to be friendly to survive) and has an incredible ability to talk silly things. I didn’t know there was such an amount of dummy stuff to talk about until I met a chat monkey for the first time. Though when he runs out of audience, he can keep talking, (ohhh yes!) to himself… but guess what?… he will do it aloud. He will take the effort to write it all, so you don’t happen to miss a line when coming back to chat!

Orange, I want it orange!… The I_wannabe_Helper:

He is 4 days old at the game when he find out about the orange guys. Since that moment, the orange coat become an obsession…All he want to do is to be a Game Helper.

There is no possibility for Tom or Nate to enter to chat without being assailed by one this characters with a “Pleaaaaseee, make me a Helper!!!”. Some of them sits hours and days at newbie chat, patiently waiting for the opportunity to help a newbie when pumpkings are not there, to show everybody how good Helpers they could be. They also comment aloud how much they like to help other people, and how nice, friendly and patient they are. When they are told that they need to be 100 days old, they start counting days as the prisoners do, making marks in the wall. Their lives have no sense without the orange coat.

They lose appetite, don’t sleep, and they can’t concentrate or remember things. You can see them around Westland, singing strange songs about pumpkins with a crazy look in their eyes.

He needs a daddy and a mommy, he needs a scold… The Troublemaker!:

This kids (some of them already in their 50ies) are not cheaters, and they are not dangerous, but they like to rebel against authority, so they always have trouble with admins and staffs at the game. They behave as if they were born to defend a fair cause. No matter if there is a real reason or not (that’s just an insignificant detail)… they just need to proclaim their position flying the flag of rebellion.

There are many ways to tease people and build a cause to fight for…it can go from showing the hairy ass at the profile pic, to burp the complete alphabet in chat (I swear it can be done… I used to do it when I was 11 years old). The next step, once the problem is brilliantly created, is to defend it as if it were a public interest issue… That’s a mission for The Troublemaker!… he will run to post a long speech at Game Discussion forum, talking about the world’s right to know his pretty ass… He will mail the whole Great Hall claiming for help, because he is about to be unfairly penalized for expressing himself… He will make a mail chain to collect firms, open an twitter account for his cause, and write a letter to Green Peace that starts saying “Save my ass!


Ok, first of all, I have a confession to make: I have been playing Dark Warriors for 2 years and 46 days and I didn’t enter to the casino until last month. At the beginning I was distracted with other features of the game, and later I was carrying the “poker virgin” complex…I had never been there and didn’t want to look like a noob. I was embarrassed to ask someone to teach me how to play. Then one day I told my secret to someone that helped me to get out of my trauma (thank you Raspy!).

Now, when I do something, I really try hard to make it right. So here comes my next confession: in one month I played 153 games and 2201 poker hands. As you can see, I really jumped in with both feet!.
And speaking about the time that I spent sitting on a poker table… The chairs seem to be made of stone or wood. Not sure which of those materials they used, but I’m sure they don’t have a cushion. And believe me, after 2201 hands sited there, I really need a cushion!. I think I will have to re draw my ass after all this time playing.

Another thing I have to tell you about poker, is that it seems to be a male’s territory. I think that just once I found another girl there. We are a rare species. So considering that I was a noob playing against experienced players, I made use of subtle feminine wiles to play my game, and picked a very sexy avatar to distract the blokes (no, it didn’t work… but hey! at least I tried!).

Everything was sweet and nice… I was gently losing my money in a pleasant way, until I faced one of those “All In” guys for the first time. It felt like someone was throwing grenades to the table. My first thought was “so you think that I’m a weak inexperienced woman that will run away with my tail between the legs?… well, I will show you that I can be more tough than you are!”… Wrong tactic. I lost gold, more gold, my dignity, more gold, and I even bet my own grandmother when I run out of gold! (poor granny… I’m still trying to recover her). Later I learned that those “All In” people could be easily managed if you are patient. From time to time, the river will have some mercy and send you nice cards, if you wait until that miracle happens, the grenade will blow up in the “All In” guy’s face.

With time, I noticed that its not about the cards… its about who has the control of the game. And to have the control, you have to be secure of yourself, and unpredictable. Well, there was my opportunity to win!… “Unpredictable” could be my second name if my parents would have had more imagination!. I was born to be unpredictable!. So I started to experiment with it. I had to learn how to bluff, and how to be tricky and hide that I had something when I had good cards. At the beginning it was as simple as doing exactly the opposite that your cards are asking you to do… if I had a pair of aces in hand, I just checked without raising the bet until the end, so everyone though I had nothing. If I had nothing, I bet all my bank account, my dog and my pants.

The problem is that I’m an obsessive person that always wants to do it better… so I started to think that if I acted like if I had nothing maybe they could think that I was doing it because I have something good and wanted to hide it… So the best thing to do was to behave as if I had a lot when I had a lot, so they though that I had nothing and was bluffing…But at some point I get lost on that thinking path, and started to randomly behave in different ways, no matter which cards I had. That resulted in huge loses, and the fact that now everybody thinks I’m just nuts and play terrible poker!.

But I have to say it: even losing every day, I got addicted to poker and I enjoy a lot playing. I can’t wait for Tom to release a poker chip package (but please… please, have some mercy and include a cushion on the deal!). I also met exceptional people at the poker tables. And I never lose the hope to stop losing one day, and start to win. Why not?.

Red Moon

If my wife knows that I bought the Ice Pack she will freeze my ballsI have to leave now, my hubby is just arriving and if he catch me playing again he will kick my assI can’t wait for my spouse to leave the house with the kids so I can play in peace and enjoy… Are those lines familiar to you?. Have you ever heard a player saying things like that?. Well, I have heard that many times.

I have seen respectable people that hides at the bathroom with the laptop to play, pretending to feel sick of their stomachs; some others that get a new credit card to spend at the game without telling a word to their partners… I have even know about a guy that took a female character instead of a male’s one because “his wife is too jelous, and that’s the only way she allows him to play”, could you believe it?!!!.
After seeing all that I came to a conclusion that I want to share with you here: for some players, the game is a lover. It´s that dirty little secret that makes them happy. The forbidden exciting pleasure that they hide in the closet. The prohibited activity that makes them feel young again.

I always imagine those players making up excuses to get that free time to play… things likehoney, I’ve just received an important mail from work… please, don’t disturb me for a little while, I could be fired if I don’t finish that report asap(and there is when our guy runs to play poker, of course!).
I can even make a mental picture of the wife yelling at the guilty husband you were at Dark Warriors again! I smell the upper ven in your hair! And yesterday you were dreaming about it… I heard you repeating 175.000 kills…180.000 kills…190.000 kills all night long!.

Now I can’t avoid wondering… Why these players keep hidding the game to their partners? … Is it that they need to keep it at a “prohibited” path in their lives because they feel more excitement in that way, or are they just being greedy and doesn’t want to share the fun?.

Experience shows that entertainment activities with your better half could be an excellent idea. I think about Mama and Ox, husband and wife in real life that plays all the OGN games together and daily have a lot of fun with that. I also remember Begone and Sir Lee, fighting arm with arm at the ven; Devious and TheNiteMare, and so many other successful cases of real life couples improving their game experience by shearing the same hobby…

So my advice for those players that behave as if the game were their lover is this: relax, have fun, invite your better half to get into it… Make it a threesome!