Posts Tagged ‘dark warrriors’


My Big Shit Demon

   Posted by: Red Moon    in RedMoons Rants

First thing that I have to say about this issue is that after seeing me searching like a fool during days and whining about not finding eggs anywhere, Ox had some mercy and gift me an Earth Egg for Christmas. So then was when I started to think that maybe I was a bad mother… I didn’t find my future baby child by myself, Santa brought me it, together with my new extra large panties, a 12 years scotch bottle and that horrible animal print dress that my aunt gave me!.

Next thing that happened is that I was playing poker all day or drinking at the local chat bar, and forgot to incubate the poor thing. So definitely an irresponsible, drunk, gambler mother…

The DW Social Worker started to visit my house. Sharpy is an absent father, and I’m a terrible mother… what kind of home could we provide for the baby demon?. According to my psychoanalyst I was forgetting to incubate the egg because I have a subconscious resistance to release my demons, whatever he wanted to say with that…

Finally something happened that saved the demon from living inside an egg forever… I got the habit to sit on the egg when I had to think about something important (exact same thing as you do in the bathroom, yes…). So in one way or another one, the egg was incubated and at last the big day arrived.

With such a messed incubation period of time, I was worried about the baby’s mental and emotional health. When he was about to hatch out from the egg, I was completely in panic. I couldn’t stop repeating to myself that I should have play classic music for him while he was inside the egg, or asked Sharpy to talk at it, or take it with me to the psychoanalyst (or at least to the bar…).

The eggshell was already broken but the creature didn’t show up. Ten minutes, twenty minutes, and entire hour passed, and his head wasn’t sticking yet…Finally I started to gently knock the shell saying: “Hello!!!… is anybody here?”… but nothing happened. Then I tried blowing air throw the shell’s hole, and nothing. I shook the egg and turn it upside down many times… but still nothing. Finally, I decided that maybe he didn’t had enough warm during the incubation, so I gently held a lighter to the shell… I guess that was too much for him…he just leaned out his head and yelled at me “what the hell are you doing???!!!. I refuse to get out in this conditions!. You can close the egg again and leave me alone, or take me to an asylum, but I won’t get out from here to be your experimental baby demon!!!”.

A coordinated team effort was necessary to convince him to get out from his egg. The psychoanalyst and the social worker moved to my house... even Sharpy was spending time with us for an entire week. We were all talking to the little creature during days, singing to him, giving him reasons to get out to the world. I think that he finally got sick of hearing us and one day he went out.

Ohhh boy… you should have seen him. He was really ugly. He looked like a tiny piece of dog’s shit with eyes, surrounded with a couple of lettuce leaves. But I was very careful and avoided saying anything about that to him… Apparently, according to the psychoanalyst (that discharged all his other patients and just stayed with us full time), he had a sensitive ego that could be hurt very easily, so I used to call him “my Big Shit Demon” to make him feel important.

He is slow and dumb but I don’t lose my hopes. We are giving him our love and support to help him. He probably wont be good for the Upper Ven (every time I take him there, he get lost and it takes me hours to find him)… he wont be good to hold an Orb (he already ate a lighting orb and ruined an evil orb by chewing it)… but I really don’t lose the hope to teach him to play poker one day or at least to stare at the other player’s cards and making some signs for me.
Time will tell…


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